Going for Gold
Sweat trickled down my face, I gasped for a breath of air. My feet pumped down on the pedals, as my bike reached the peak of the hill. That's when the commentator’s raspy voice announced,“New Zealand’s Ismael Tate is in the lead!” Smiling, I hurtled rapidly down the hill, determined to stay in the lead. I could see the finish line, then an excruciating pain flowed through my head, and the world slipped away from my grasp. I aroused to the sound of a machine beating my heart. Pain overwhelmed me and I cried a bucket full of tears.
Phoebe I love all the great adjectives and adverbs you have used, that made your story so exciting to read. But what a sad ending! And you bring forth the emotions so well. Keep up the good work writing on the 100WC.
ReplyDeleteHi Phoebe, I absolutely loved reading your story. I agree with Kathy, your adjectives and adverbs are powerful! What an ending! I did NOT see that coming - It was a real twist to your story. Superb writing. I'm going to recommend this for showcaswe. Best of luck!!
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